黑暗

每个人的心中往往都会藏着黑暗的一面..

歌也有的唱.."everybody got a dark side"
人心丑陋..他们可以在表面上对你很好..暗地里却不懂捅了自己多少刀..

在我一个小小的生活圈子里..

我看到了许多不同性格的人。

有嫉妒型的，有博爱型的，又有会说但永远却不会去实行的，有小心眼的

也有伪装型的, 等等等类型 ..

生活其实可以很简单，但为何人总爱去比较??总爱非得把其他人踩在脚下才心甘呢??

每当面对这些人,心里觉得无比的寒..

纳闷为何会这样..

只想要单纯，真心的友谊也变得像不可能的任务似的..

有时候真的廷无力的..

只因我不能从容的接受, 或勇敢的反抗..

身边能真正让我信任的也不多了..

也不能像以前一样想找人倾诉就倾诉..

因为人黑暗的一面，让我时时都在防备..

"做好自己，但愿与自己比较; 也不要与别人相较

学习从容的面对身边的黑暗，也别让黑暗侵蚀了自己"

# 成长#

Christmas Eve

Christmas is coming again.. ^^
but this will be a lonely..un-fun christmas eve..
haiz..nothing special..no place to hang out..
and i have to stay in lab to finish my lab work..
Gosh...
Hmm...i hate to wait..><

Why the milling process take long time..
Huhu..
Cannot..i dont want spend my christmas eve like this..
Gonna find some way to cheer myself..
whee... =P

Me and ball mill grinder

Why??

刚从新调子推介礼回来。。复杂的思绪缠绕了我一整天
从新学期开始到现在，我好像什么事情都没做好。。
也没认真的开始在做。。
我问我自己：为什么会这样颓废呢？？
好无力哦。。
虽然说人是群体动物。。可是盲无目的的跟从满满的群体活动是好事吗？？
就像今天这样。。为了支持我的一个同学的活动，而少了几个小时的温习时间。。
是好吗？？
为什么我不能勇敢一点的拒绝。。
为什么我不能坚持自己的想法而一直跟从朋友呢？？
啊。。。。。
或许我是很怕被孤立的一个人。。
只因为内心的自卑感越来越重了。。
曾几何时我是认为我自己是可以很优秀的。。
就算没有漂亮的脸蛋，没有出众的才华。。
我也可以很自信的跟自己说我行的！！
可是当一个人长期活在别人的影子下。。
感觉也并不好受。
自信心也会有被打败的一天。
为什么？？为什么？？
正能量赶快来吧！！

=（（（

執著

我們執著什麼，

往往就會被什麼所騙；

我們執著誰，

常常就會被誰所傷害。

所以我們要學會放下，

凡事看淡一些，

不牽掛，不計較，

是是非非無所謂。

無論失去什麼，

都不要失去好心情。

把握住自己的心，

讓心境清淨，

潔白，安靜。

放下不等於放棄，

執著不等於堅持。

p/s: 在感情世界里，彻底忘记是唯一的出路。就算再多的不愿意，再多的执著。受伤的最后还是只有自己。忍痛的放下吧。。T_T

Art making

I love art.. sometimes I feel myself got artist temper too.. =P
Kinda emotion..easy get bad temper.haha..
But I don't care. Coz this is me..As long I treat myself nice and enjoy the way I wanna be.

Art is a magical stuffs..
It can turn a very simple stuffs look great and different but unique too.
I love to do handmade card for my best buddy..for the one I love.
It did make me feel great after completed my handmade stuff..
snap a photos for it. Even though is not a very pro level.
But I do satisfy and happy on my own work.. Whee ^^

Modelling puzzle. I love that much too.
When I built it piece by piece until finished the model.
Whoa..the feel of accomplishment will overflowing myself..
Sometimes I really don't know how to describe the feel..
But if got people asked me why love modelling puzzle so much??
Haha.. what I can say is I just can't resist it. I love that. =)

1st time helped my sis to made a wall deco..
Mhmmm...I found it kinda interesting too.. Even though I didn't pain it by myself.
But the wall deco can make the environment look better and comfort.
Like my sis said..it will increase the sensation when having a candlelight dinner.
haha..

Think...

After having lunch today..Ai Ting suddenly past me a paper..
Inside there got four statements.. o.0
She told me..our CEO said everyday need to ask ourself for these four issues..
- Things to do -
- Things to have -
- Places like to see -
- Who you wanna be -
After 21 days..we will firgure out the exactly things we wish to own, or wish to be.
* start thinking*

There are many paths in our life that we can choose..
Mmm..
Have you ever been think about what core value you wish to own??
What kind of dream you wish to achive??
Many and so on....
But sometimes people always easy to lost when facing some uncertainty in our life..
I saw her kinda confusing and struggling in choosing the most suitable way in her life..
STUDY?? WORKING??

Ai Ting is a simple and smart girl..She always want to own a happy life..
"HAPPINESS" is at the top place in her core value. =)
I always learn a lot from her even though she's a new friend for me.
She make me to start think about myself..
The path that I wanna choose in my future..
We are not kids anymore..the things we need to concern is uncountable..
I shouldn't stop to get a better life for myself coz of some meaningless and bullshit stuff..
Right?? right...

Is the time for me to figure out..
Who I wanna be??
What I want to achive??
Future..is waiting for me.


p/s: first time blogging in office hours..hehe.. XP

Sophaholic

Do you ever think when you are moody..negative..unhappy..

How to lift yourself up and cheer your mood??

Haha..

I will have a crazy shopping..buy the things I like..

Sound like kinda waste money..

But I don't care.Coz this is the way to cheer myself.

Even though I'm not a rich gal..

Never mind..I just want my happiness even though the joyful moment was kinda short.

-FOS-

38~38

love^^

I enjoy the moment when in the fitting room..

Trying the shirts..dresses.

and sure snap a photo with the clothes..=P

I enjoy the moment of shopping with my friends..

Just sometimes I feel kinda out of controls also XP

Coz the price for the things I aim more expensive and expensive..

huhu XP

Grab get my things..

VOIR sandals + NICHII short pants

Money money..I want you so bad!!!

=_+)Y

Who do you think you are??

Recently I was saw get a little interesting phrase in fb..
What they share was kinda true..

"I was being so true to you

No two face

I'm care that why I ask

I won't care you if you are nothing to me

Being a friend

I had done what I can

But I really don't know how "

The two person with hatred..lies..fake..hurt..
is hard to be a friend anymore even thou is a super duper normal friend.
Maybe they said still wanna be friend..
but the way they giving their friendship is so insincerely.
Totally a faker.

I don't need the faker sympathize..
I don't need a liar be my friend..
But please don't be cruel also to your mouth's "friend" if you are not appreciate the friendship.

                                                Who do you think you are??

I haVe A DreaM

♪♫♬♩♪♮♫♪♯♬♩
" I have a dream..A song to sing..To help me cope with anything..

If you see a wonder of a fairy tale..You can take the future even if you fail..

I believe in angels..Something good in everything I see..

I cross the stream..I have dream.."

When I saw a lounge singer standing on the stage and performed the song..
R&B..Jazz..Pop..
How wish that I can be the one of them.
I like to sing..Maybe my singing skill still not so PRO..
But to me...This kind of job is very interesting..
While working while enjoying..
I like to be that..
Perhaps this may not my future career..
But be a part time lounge singer also not bad what..
Can sing a song for those in sorrows..
OR
even can bring up the environment to become more cheerful..
Should I go to try for it?
To colour my life..


p/s:
Melodies can always touch people soul.
I love melodies..♬♩♪♮♫

~ Candy ~

" Take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lime and a shot of tequila "

But sometimes you have to add some sugar in to balance it..

Maybe the salt,lime and tequila make you hard to breath..hard to keep your footstep moving on..

Just remember that life still have a corner that have sweetness inside it.

RECENTLY

When I was sorrow..pain..negative..bad memories..

I just give myself a candy.

Even though the sweetness was very short and temporary.

But at least it did remind me I have to keep moving on.

To figure out the sweet part in the world. 

Candies for mii

Coz my seat was kinda near the manager room..So I always can hear that the angry-ness of him..

The way he scold loud towards my colleagues..

Huhu..kinda scary =S

But I saw some of my colleagues's face still very calm..some look so down..

Some even still can smile after getting scold..

Hmm..If I'm the one who scold by manager..

What am my feel..I think feeling sucks huh..and TENSION!!

I asked myself..Can I stand on it??

I also don't know o.0

Haiz..but what to do.

Reality is cruel!!

Our EQ must high to handle all the critical stuffs..

This is so called life.

Hard,but we still have to stand strong on it.

DriVe drivE Driv3

I wanna driveeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I realize that if depending on other people fetching is such a hard stuff after some period.
Haiz..coz everytime also need to follow others people's time.
If earlier..then I need to be earlier..
If late..I need to wait either.
very dependable..
I'm kinda trouble others sometimes also when I wanna go out..
If I late a bit back from work..maybe kena murmur lagi XP
Haiz...
Kinda regret why I not brave enough to drive alone.
Actually driving is not really a big matter,right??
Cheryl Lee..you already got license..got car..
You can do it d!!! =.=
Must always remind myself that when I can drive..
I can go anywhere as I wish..
I won't trouble get anybody to fetch me..
I can follow my own time schedule..
I will not make my family worried if I work at other city..
bla bla bla and bla bla bla..

Hmmm..I think now is still not too late..
I wanna drive back my car and got back my freedom..
Whoohooooo!!!!!

Break Down

- Sunday -

~ Cloudy + moody ~

I couldn't stay at home anymore..
My thought..my mind full of sorrows..pain..demotivated.
Was over the limit that I can carry.
I wanna run from this space..I couldn't stand for it.
UKM..here I came to find my Yin Fen.
I'm really really thank for her coz she willing to spend her precious time to chat with me even though she got a test on Monday.
Appreciated and touched. T_T
*hugiezz*

Snap photo before I back.Tankiu..

At night..my best buddy hui teng come for me.
Until now..I still remember that night.That night I was totally break down in front of her. T_T
Hug and cry on her shoulder..Let me lean on her..
I can feel that my best buddy's supporting when she hold tight my hand and share her ohm to me.
Crumble at last..

Thank YOU...

Ohm

I seriously need more ohm..

Lies..
I already dont know how to differentiate what is lie and what is truth..
Some people good in lie, good in hide, and some people not.
Damm sucks feeling when I get to know everything was a lie without any preparation for it.
* Deep breath... *
How stupid I am to believe all those things..But actually is just a bad illusion to cover my eyes.
Blown away my rational until get myself hurt again.
I just want a simple and calming life.
You don't have to tell me your news so sudden and talking the bullshitting stuff in front of me.
Sorry doesn't help me.You think I'm ok when I'm still in recovery process?
And I don't think your wish for me is sincere.it just make you feel better and release ur guilt only.
The scar will never fade also even though it recovered.
Telling me the truth at first is that so hard for you?
Maybe what my friend said was true. You are holding on me while looking for the new one.
Nightmare oh nightmare.. I can award you as the greatest liar in our country.
Clap hand for you!!! Well done and nice job!!

Well sayings : Mama always taught us give our old toys to others.

Road

Every roads come to end. Nobody can guess what will happen at the end.

Sometimes we have to think the end can be our beginning even though we've been walk through for a long long journey. 

No matter how..people can just keep moving on and figure out the things at the end of the road.

p/s : Never fear in searching life-road.

That's Me!

When I "black face"..I just really wanna "black face".

Please don't touch and disturb me at that moment.

This is my way to express my unsatisfaction. 

If not i will blown out my bad temper..

I don't wanna be like that..hurt get the innocent people.

I just want to calm my mine down and think.
When I really want to be alone..just let me alone.
When I keep quite. It maybe mean that I lazy to speak any word especially after back from work SOMETIMES..OR really got somebody make me MAD!!!

I'm the most pampered child in my family..

Everyone tolerate with me..treat me good..

care me well..

I'm just like a little princess even though I don't have a billionaire background.

But I got my own principle.

I don't like people to cheat on me..hate people misunderstand on me..

or judge me without any deep understanding for my characteristic.

I can fully tolerate and love for the person or friends that I care.

even treat them better than myself. 

And I'm kinda sensitive for certain issue.

So I'm very appreciate for those who really understand me and will never cross my line.

THAT'S ME!!!!!

I don't expect other people to tolerate with me..follow my style..
Coz I know that's real life.
But please do think wise before speak something out.
I fully understand people like to judge people by their face or what else..

Who knows,right??

One thing is please don't misunderstand me by judging my face or anything else.

It just show that you are not know me well.

p/s : *Deep breath.........*

Calm myself..calm my mind..

Learn how to not care much.

It was a sunny Sunday..

I'm heading to Senawang there..

A new and unfamiliar place for me..

huhu..

After taking 2++ hours bus..and I stop at KL Centre..

Walk walk walk and wait for the KTM to go Labu there and meet my housemate..

Is a long journey..it takes more than 1 hour ony reach Labu..

I cant imagine if I stop at Senawang station..

How much time that I need..@.@

Huh...

Kinda heavy la..Was my 1st time to carry such that much off things with taking the public transport..

*dislike*

Our new house..

Finally we reach there safely..

But I cannot rest..Coz need to do some cleaning stuffs..

Lazy la me..=P

Swept swept..Mop mop..move move..

Whoo..my room become clean and have a new face at last..

hehe =P

I was so tired after did all those stuffs..

But I'm kinda satisfy with my new room..=) 

Coz the arrangement in room was totally handle by myself..

I make it become comfortable..^^

Before

After

Even though my mental and physical already very tired..

Buuuuuuuut..

I still sleepless that night..

Hahah..nervous?? maybe..

And my internship life is officially start d..m =)

"Hoi Gong Dai Kat" la!!!

Mission Impossible

Specially for my dearest sis ^^

St Peterburg..
A new challenging task for myself..
This mission is not for myself but for my sister too..
I don't wanna break a promise to her.
And I did it..I never thought I can make it within 24 hours..
Yeah!!!!!
I'm proud of myself..
^^

p/s: Puzzle can make me concentrate..and temporary blown away the stuffs that I don't wanna remember at all..I hope I got ability to built my broken heart piece to piece until it become complete again..

Dumplings..

Happy Duan Wu Jie ^^
-A traditional festival for chinese people-..
Jom makan makan dumplings..

Homeade Bak Zhang

Gan ShuI Zhong

Gan shui zhong wif red bean filling ^^

Mama know us the best..
Haha..since most of us are back home during this festival..
Mama had wrap some dumplings for us to eat..
yummy yummy... ( Thumb up ^^)
This year I miss the time when mama wrap the rice dumplings..
Coz I'm still sleeping. =P
I still remember last time I like to help my mama when she wrapped dumplings..
But actually not help la..just simply kacau and gepoh..
Coz i dunno how to wrap also.

Most young generation nowadays not really got celebrate this kind of traditional festival..
Include me..haha..the spirit for the traditional festival not really strong..
But is good also sometimes..
Coz festival is a good opportunity to gather all the family members..
Meet meet and chat chat..

Hee...Happy Zhong Zai Ji again =)

Grateful

Today gonna be my last night I spend in my uni's hostel..
My 3rd year life is officially end..
Time is flying..And age getting older and older..

Oops..Act like a child

In this silent night..
Some maybe still struggling with their books..
Some maybe already off to their bed..
Some maybe like me hanging around in room and do nothing..
Listening a sentimental saxophone melodies..
"Kenny G- Over The Rainbow"
and look back all those photos that I've been taken during this semester
Time was past but the great scenes still stick in the photos and in my heart.

Outing wif coursemate

My bufday celebration

Sport time

Yam Sing before this semester end

Presentation day with formal wear and doraemon ^^

Even though I still got 1 more year only graduate.
But I still will recall back everything that happened before..
What I had gain??
Knowledge?? Sure have but not much..hehe
Friendship?? Gossips gossips among friends..Judgement..misunderstanding..laugh and tears..got true friendship and fake friendship
Life principle ?? I'm still seeking a balance point in my life in order not to hurt others and myself either..Looking for the clear define way for me to keep moving in future.
Love life?? Haha..that's sucks!!! Not a great memory.Wanna deleted it.

Live Strong

Looking at my kinda empty room now..
It's make me feel like really "empty"..
Few more days later..I'm gonna starting my very first internship life..
Complicated feeling towards it..Nervous..Longing..and a little bit of worry.
I think I need to get myself prepared especially in EQ that side..
Control my impatience..control my easy lost control's temper..

Empty notice board

Books..Notes..Food CLEAR..

Bed without any sleeping stuffs =(

I wanna thanks to my uni best friend - Hui Teng
For every supports she gave me when I fall..
For every understanding she gave when I'm impatience and in bad mood..
For every caring that she gave along this semester..
For everything that she had done for me..
She is such a great girl and great buddy..
No words can say to her but just " THANK YOU "

mii and Hui Teng

Mii..Hui Teng..Woan Yiing

p/s : Life still need to go on even though I had faced a lot of issues in this semester..
But I'm still need to thank for all those great things and obstacles that come to me..
Coz they teach me a lot..gain me a lot..wake me a lot.. Thanks.. =)
Gonna off to my empty bed le..no pillow..no bolster..no blanket..
Wish I still can sleep without them..huhu..=(

Final Countdown

Yeah Yeah!!!
Tomorrow gonna be my last paper for my final test..
Kinda snake this few days..=P
No mood no mood =S
Maybe there was non stop continuous test for 3 days before..
Mental was totally exhausted after it.
Huhu..
Finally...I wait get the time to finish my paper.
Even though I didn't make did well as I expected..
But already past..*whee*
Wait till the result out only worried ba..wakaka..

instant花旗参

Grateful and thankful that I have a great commate/blockmate/coursemate and sure she is my best friend - Hui Teng who help me and support a lot during the test. 

And she is so caring for me..

Giving me a ginsing teabag so I can burn my midnight oil..

Thanks dear <3

Hope and pray that we both can get the flying colours results..

Hehe..

Is time to fight for my last paper d..

Gogogo!!!

Nightss

Many people will walk in and out of our life..
But only true friends will leave a footprints in our heart..
As a wiser,
We use our head to handle ourselves..and
We use our heart to handle others.
ANGER is just the only one letter short of DANGER..
It make me realize that if someone betray or hurt me once, it it his fault..
But if let him betray and hurt me twice,then it is my fault.
So I owe my heart an apology..
"Sorry..my dear soul"
People should learn from mistake of ourself and from others either..
and overcome the obstacles and face the fears..
I believe in myself that I can always come through with flying colours..
Value friendship, love and faith..
For those who make me sleepless in the night..
For those who scar my heart..
For those who not treat me sincerely..
I will prepared myself to hold the door open for you to walk out from my life..
And said you are not welcome anymore.

And this is me..
I love who I am..
I love my flaws..
If you don't like or hate me because I'm happy with the way I am..
Then I will tell you..Screw you man!!!!

You will never know how strong and tough I can fight back with the nightmare..
Hope tonight will not be a sleepless night and sweet dreams will come over me.
Good night =)

Thank You Camellia

YeeHaa!!! Kris Allen new album was release..

<< Thank You Camellia >>

I just found it a couple days ago..

It is an awesome,great album to me..I love it so much..^_^

He is the winner for American Idol Season 8..

His song is such a great way to utterance the feel for good days and bad days..

He give the ohm for good days and give motivations for bad days

I love " The Vision Of Love" and " Leave You Alone" most..

Coz the lyrics are truly express my feeling..  

In "Leave You Alone "  he show that sometimes walking away is the best course of action once you realize there is no way you're continued presence is going to help matters.

Song List :

- Better With You

- The Vision Of Love

- My Weakness

- Out Alive

- Monster

- Blindfolded

- Teach Me How Love Goes

- Rooftops

- Leave You Alone

- Love Me Not

- You Got A Way

Waiting

Waiting is a unpredictable future.

You will never know what will you get at last after waiting for a long time

Will you wait get the people that you wish to be??

Will you wait get the chance that you wish to get??

Will you wait get the things that you wish to own??

Nobody know..because there is so many uncertainty in our future

Maybe tomorrow will be a sunny day..or

Maybe tomorrow will be a stormy day..

Waiting is kinda hard stuffs..

Plus the one you wait get maybe is not good as you think

So why I have to wait for those uncertainty.

Past is past

It will not come back again

That is incompleted also even though it come back to you again

For the one who leave, just let them leave

Maybe we can just treat them as a stranger in our life.

Never come into our life.

If the ending is not like what I wish to see

Then I rather you never appear in my life and treat me good again.

I don't wanna  be grievances anymore.

I don't wanna scar my heart and soul anymore.

If you dont love,just stay away from me.

If you don't appreciate what i give, I just burn you down.

And forgiveness will never happen again.

Cheryl,never try so hard to fit in

It just will make you hurt.

There is no point for you to uphold anymore.

Lets all gone with the wind.

你量了吗??

每个人心中都有一把专属的尺.
有长有短，有宽有窄
我们都会用这些尺去衡量我们本身做人的标准
也拿来衡量身边每一个人的标准
可是往往我们人呢会忽略了一点
忽略了在别人身上的那把尺
然后把我们自己的尺放在别人身上
用我们的标准去衡量一个人的对与错
其实那是别人的问题吗?? 还是我们在乎太多了?? 顾虑太多了呢??
有时候我很同意这句话
“说者无心，听者有意”
就因为我们人呀..
会对于某些特定的东西比较敏感或有多余的猜测
而导致人与人之间的摩擦越来越多
我也不例外..
可是我也不喜欢说话的时候要左想右想才可以讲
很辛苦勒@.@
归根到底，还是因为那把尺..
常听人说..做人要有度量..
我想应该是要我们把心中这把尺的度放大一些些
不要太过苛刻..
放松别人也等于放松自己..
何乐而不为呢??

所以..我也要开始学习
学习如何不用自己的尺去衡量别人..
放松下自己吧 ^^

Fighter

A little bit entertainment for mii

Already 12am++..
Still fighting with all those books..notes..
( not forget to blogging a while..hehe =P )
Try my best to remember all those facts..
Try to understand all those formulas..calculations @.@
I think not only me become a fighter with the books now..
But all my uni's friends
I'm always aspect myself can achieved better
But it's always enough for me to compare with myself rather than others.
~ Acha~ Acha~

Hamster

It's name called Kings..My friend's new pet.

Huhu..he is very cute. Make me feel like wanna sayaang him soooo much. =)

* Itchy Itchy heart *

I did own a hamster once. My brother's friend gave it to us.

If not mistaken, the hamster already 2 years old when we start to take care it. 

Consider a bit old.

 Kings make me remember my hamster.

I just take care of it for around half and a year. Then he already leave me. T_T

I still remember the time that I spent with it. 

It is very smart and active. And cute especially when eating or sleeping.

Pets are really a nice friends for us. 

Never betray..Never hurt us..

And can always be our good listener.

I miss my hamster.

Fool

Please don't treat me like a fool. I'm not stupid. 

Maybe you thought I can't feel anything or realize something happened behind. 

That's not true.I know it...

 I just keep it in my heart and never speak out only.